I Channeled Divine Energy For My Partner & All I Got Was This Essay (& Memes)

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For my paid subscribers, I’ve recorded myself for your listening pleasure at the bottom of this post. (*Side effects include: laughter, spontaneous smiling, and feelings of elevated joy.)

Everyone else, you can have a preview & a giggle. On the house. 😉

I also got a floaty bodily sensation, a bizarre dream, and a reminder that even lightwork needs a permission slip. But before we get into that experience, let’s Blockbuster this bitch and rewind a bit (also, hi, if you’re new here – I don’t just wear a sailor’s hat for aesthetics. I curse like one, too. It’s part of my magic.)

I am worlds away from who I was when I first dipped my toes into spiritual waters back in 2019. At the time, I was only just beginning to explore concepts like reincarnation, energy, and past lives and instead of spending my extra cash on new clothes, it quickly became crystals (shiny, pretty rocks with magical powers? Where do I sign up?! Crystals are the gateway drug into spirituality). I tumbled down that woo-woo rabbit hole faster than Instagram shadowbans the truth.

Once I emerged on the other side of my spiritual awakening in 2020 (which I believe was actually a spontaneous kundalini awakening because wow, that was rough), and things began to settle, I woke up to the BS illusions and finally saw the truth: I was completely in control of my own life, possessed magical unicorn healing abilities (spoiler alert: we all do), and not only was everything made up of energy (and the karma points totally matter), but I had the power to influence it.

In the beginning, this felt overwhelming and intense because I had zero energetic boundaries, was not well versed in how energy even worked, and oscillated violently in my emotional states between “The world is AMAZING, and I am a rainbow space pixie high on my own supply!!!!!” and “Holyfuckingshit WHY DID I SIGN UP FOR THIS? SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME OFF THIS PLANET!”

The powers that be continue to facepalm at my dramatic human tantrums. Clearly very demure, very mindful.

If memes were my early emotional states, these were the only two offered back then, like Morpheus holding out red and blue pills: “This one takes you blissfully out of body. And this one will shove you violently off a ledge into a canyon of fire. You’ll be forced to take both. At the same time. And it will be a surprise which effect manifests.”

Where my fellow Human Design emotional authorities at!?

But now?

After years of emotional and nervous system regulation, shadow work, alchemizing pain and releasing the past, breaking generational cycles and shedding the dead weight of shitty beliefs that were never mind to hold (whew, say that five times fast!), I have fully stepped into my role as a powerful, sovereign being and an energetic healer.